Last week my family lost a remarkable role model. Arnetta Stockton-Mondestin was a woman that created changes in the world that will continue to inspire and empower other women long after her short time with us on earth. A member of the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority and one of my first mentors, Arnetta had called me two weeks ago with a few suggestions to help The Pink Girls Run The World (PGRW) movement with our mission to connect and empower girls around the globe. Surrounded by beautiful pink roses at her celebration of life ceremony, I listened to those that loved her share memories and speak about her missionary work with men and women of all races in different parts of the world. Up until recently, I hadn’t spoke with Arnetta in quite some time, but as the stories of her strength and determination flooded the room I was reminded of the influential role that she played in exposing me to so many gems during my childhood. Despite the distance, it was her love and light that helped to pave the way for me as an adult.
Arnetta with my mom
Affectionately known as Nett Nett, Arnetta was my mother’s first cousin and accompanied my mom when she traveled to visit me during my study abroad in France. We made so many great memories in the City of Lights during their visit. As we explored Notre Dame & Opera Garnier, it was like the operas that she learned while studying at Westminster Choir College had come to life and we had starring roles. Strolling down the Champs Elysees together became a scavenger hunt for the best crème glacee to celebrate my birthday abroad and I will never forget how we swooned over the best chocolate mousse in the city’s famous Latin Quarter. It was because of Arnetta that I knew about the Harlem Renaissance and the time that Black artists, like James Baldwin (influenced by the representation of Black culture that grew out of that era), spent in the Latin Quarter years before I ever stepped foot in France.
A driving force in our NJ community with a heart of rose gold, I shared Arnetta’s affinity for the arts. As a preteen, I loved the stories that she would share with me during our hour train from Trenton to New York City and the adventures that would ensue when we hit the Big Apple. The founding director of the Black History program at my predominately White middle school, Arnetta was all about disrupting privileged and oppressed spaces before it became a “conversation.” Through her love for humanity and music, she started the conversation and touched so many souls along the way. Arnetta played the piano and sang like an angel in English, German and Italian; but I will never forget the tears that streamed down the face of my French hostess (the 91-year old granddaughter of Impressionist painter Emile Jourdan) as my talented cousin unexpectedly belted out an opera in French as we nibbled on madeleines and petits fours during an afternoon tea in the dining room of Madame Jourdan’s Parisian apartment. Your melodic voice will guide the rhythm of my steps for eternity. RIP Nett Nett.
“I may not know it. But these are the moments that I’m going to remember most.” – Miley Cyrus “The Climb”